..to stand. Although it won't come easy, I am determined to succeed. Some of the barricades my parents use to keep me in the living room are only built to withstand crawlers. Don't they know that I'll learn to walk soon? The poor fools... it will be so easy.
Once I'm free I can roam around the neighborhood announcing my presence in my most dominant of alpha-male calls. I have been practicing them for weeks - I just straighten out like a board, wave my arms in the air wildly and announce, "I AM HERE. I EXIST AND MY NEEDS MUST BE MET AT ALL TIMES!" Yes.. it will all happen soon.
Aside from plotting my escape and ultimate rise to power, I did a bit of traveling recently. My great grandmother turned 80 this year and so we all traveled to a small town called Hurricane, UT to surprise her during the annual Peach Parade. We entered the parade to surprise her - and boy did it work. She couldn't believe her eyes at first, there were like a hundred grandkids on the 'float.'
Thanks to a bit of structure in my daily routine I have been taking regular naps and have predictable sleep patterns. Some mornings I am super nice and let mommy sleep in until 8am! Daddy especially appreciates my sleep routine because he is very busy now with work and school. I do what I can. After all, I don't want him blowing my chances of a college savings.
My big brother loves playing with me when he comes home from Kindergarten. He is sure impressive with all of his voodoo math-magic and superhuman reading abilities. I can't wait until I start learning cool stuff. In the meantime I will just teach myself that putting one foot on a sturdy object allows me to push myself up onto the couch. Daddy will love that one.
That's the latest. I look forward to updating you again next month!
-Parker Bear
P.S. I've also taken up breakdancing. Yeah, that's right.
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